I found my ipod // OLD SONGS OLD MEMORIES

Every item represent a certain fragment of my life.

and LOL


i have a dot on my head (bad complexion). urgh


how much is your pride worth? ultimately, it left me with unanswered questions. These questions can be easily resolved if you would just let your ego go. who am i kidding.


fascination ends

I can't wait to get away from you.


I'll be honest right now and admit that I'm vulnerable.We all ought to shed that exterior that is keeping the distance between us.


Now that summer feels especially dreamy, I feel incredibly empty. It doesn't help that the reality of school is sinking in so swiftly. Don't get me wrong. Summer was nothing short of incredible. Someone asked me about my summer when I was in school this week and I remember using the word 'bittersweet'. Bittersweet kinda just sums up my entire summer. India and Southeast Asia was phenomenal. Is it contrived to say that I've learnt about the beauty of things? The beauty of life that we're all seeking. I swung around on ropes and jumped into waterfalls. I sat on roadside stools, sipping on beer/coffee and watched the blaring traffic go by.


and Friendships. my dear friendships. I got to travel with my two best friends. Theres something surreal about our trip now that I think about it. I hope i'm wrong but trips like that are getting harder to come by for us. I'm just glad we could make it happen this summer.


I (we?) saw the kindred spirit within us.


I met someone amazing this summer. In its entirety, it feels like an extended dream; an extended friday if you will. In the end, it literally went up in smoke. Bitter because these moments come infrequently and when they eventually do, they leave such an indelible mark on you.


and bitter because its fading away.


or perhaps. just perhaps.

 shiok maki & that bomber in the background hahaha

 just hanging out in my old room :(

 buying clothes for gfs. im alone on this one lol.

 thai - cambodian border.

 hammocks & sunsets

oweek one year later.

summer dreams; endless nights

You're an enigma wrapped in a riddle (shrouded in an illusion).

shout out from phnom penh.


14 days in and motorbike accident; running from cops during pubcrawls; scammer tuk tuks; meeting so so many people around the world; strangesuspicious kebabs/sandwiches but who cares as long as its cheap; nightwalks; the streets; the people. This region is amazeballs.


Isn't it why we're all travelling?


Brought 2 books and barely flipped 5 pages of it. :D (haverford style)


the lonely crowd.


and the coming semester.

I find myself struggling with loving people especially when they are antagonistic towards my ‘faith’. And in this modern world, that’s very easy to find, subtly and overtly. Furthermore even within the community of my faith, there are so many hypocrites like myself. Religion is like a bitter pill that I find hard to swallow right now because – I am unhappy. I am simply unhappy. I am upset that I am a sunday Christian just so that I am able to maintain order within the communities that I live in. I am not saying this to glorify myself or even to make it seem like a nobel effort. If anything, it has made me deeply unhappy for as long as I can remember. 


The silent facade is deafening.

trip alone (vietnam) + with the friends (rest of sea) is happening. so stoked about it.


These are issues that i have to deal with rather than blaming others for my predicament. Stop feeling this way.

Never been so focused before. I wrote a paper in 2plus hours (I usually take days, even weeks) because I saw the wrong deadline. Probably gonna get shit grades for this paper (its stats, still gonna bomb it if i had time. really hate math). Urgh what happened to fridays.


never again. #$%@!


back to feeling tired.

 FIFA tournament in school. Dam excitez we were the favourites but alas not meant to be

 still love rainy days

Became active on instagram...for a while

That day when I didn't feel like going to church and couldn't bear to say something.

 Pretty random day in church

 Oh I finally went for Avril's. Took this photo for Chow because I bought it second hand. Met that person online but turns out coincidentally he was a friend too.

Formal dinz with the people that live on my floor.

Leslie's birthday. We made collages lolwhut. 

I guess I'm already fortunate enough to find people that I'm comfortable to be completely myself around with. Not pretence. Those people get me and I don't have to explain myself or impress them. Someone recently told me that I'm afraid of opening up because I simply don't have the need to. idk. I'm not being egoistical or anything but isn't it human nature to be afraid of change?


How can someone be apathetic to something like this? I guess we're all guilty of taking things for granted and who am I to be judging. We think that they are infinite, but they are not. We spend our lives chasing the impermanent while ignoring the ones that we cherish. Such anguish, such fervent. Those emotions. Such is life.


I'm a liar.

no matter where or how well we hide, Tragedy has its own mysterious ways to break into our refuges. it comes in many forms, and the most unpredictable strike comes from designs who scarily look like us. as always, our trusts are our bets on the goodness of people.

my heart goes out to  you

Mom says


"Don't anyhow spend money, save as much as you can and drink more water"


"Don't make me empty promises if you cannot just say I'll try."


"I'll try"


feeling real helpless about this. Nobody knows. No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself i'm not wallowing in self pity. Nobody knows because I choose to not burden people with my problems. Nobody knows not because I'm always sitting and crying in an empty room by myself. Nobody knows because I keep things to myself. When people don't know what to say and feel bad. I feel bad too. In the rare occasion that I share, just know that it's heartwarming that I feel comfortable with sharing my life with you and I don't expect anything in return. I really don't. Anywho, thanks for sticking around and listening to me.


and I can't even make promises to my Mom how unfilial.

summer trip southeastasia. just get me out of here now.

I don't know what to say. Its feels really surreal. Just sitting there hearing you talk about life as though you're gone. Haven't held back my tears for a long time.You're never ready even when it hits you.


Last sunday, I was just telling the kids how God has a plan for all of us. Even if things don't go our way, have faith and He will deliver. I was telling them how I always never end up at my desired destinations. When I look back and ask myself - Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. always. Even if I'm just a ripple in the whole grand scheme of things, someone cares about you. Now, its still a bitter pill to swallow. So upsetting.


maybe we haven't realized it yet. "In the everyday routine of life, it can be easy to forget to count all those blessings that you have."


:(

 I should really come home more often. Mom's cooking. <3 p="">

 Staycation at Sentosa. Gave it a miss because I had midterms the next day :(

We're into brunch!

I'm insecure about you
I'm worried about you'll be gone too soon
I'm upset that we didn't cared enough
I'm just blank
Just don't ask me.
Don't push away the people that care.

The same questions. It bothers me. It bothers me that it doesn't bother you. It bothers me that I'm just so unsure. It bothers me that i have other important matters that i have to care about. Simply bothers me that I don't know. But as always, things always has a way of working itself out.


Lifes been pretty smooth. I should be thankful.


I hope my summer plans follow through. TRAVELS southeastasia.


Don't you just hate it when people just won't stop probing. Why is it taboo to be alone? Maybe just perhaps, its not the sadder alternative.


mAH favz moments recent.

I'm just really thankful for this opportunity that I didn't ask for.

i know i always say i'm alright and its true i am. 

just some sleepless nights reminiscing. 

http://www.vyralize.com/1263/msn-messenger-officially-shutting-down-here-are-some-of-the-best-memories-we-wont-forget/


my teenage conversations.


I wonder where are all of you guys right now? I hope you everyones doing well.


I have so many questions in my head right now. /:


I'm afraid of being judged. Who I am to judge your actions. I will never see it completely from your perspective. Smoking a stick of cigarette makes me a bad person. Asking girls out makes me desperate. Hanging out with girls makes me a flirty guy. Going clubbing with guys makes me a slut. Not appearing often makes me a mugger. Sometimes, we are so fogged up by the desire to be accepted. Does it really matter?

In a parallel universe, we would be lovers. In that ideal universe, we would be rash and readily leap into unknown possibilities. Somewhere out there, someone is watching our movie and wishing they were us. In that world, we would be more forgiving and less mind reading. In that parallel universe, there are no farewells nor goodbyes. and that moment lasts forever.


"We come across a myriad of people in one lifetime. At the end of the day, some will matter more than others and there will be a few that matter that most. When we’ve lowered our guards, stripped ourselves to the most vulnerable and raw, who then, would you have allowed to be closest to you?''


In that parallel universe.